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Wedding Etiquette

Dos and don’ts of wedding planning

Planning a wedding can overwhelming when you don’t know the dos and don’ts of good etiquette. So, let’s take a look at what to do and what not to do.


  • If your reception is for adults only, address the invitation to Mr & Mrs. You can also say “We hope the 2 of you will join us”; or ” We have 2 seats with your name”.
  • Children over 16 should be sent their own invitation.
  • Marriage officiant should also receive an invitation; most of them decline.
  • Send parents an invitation but nor RSVP card.
  • Put postage on the RSVP envelope
  • If parents are paying for the wedding, put their name in the invitation.
  • If you don’t get a reply card back, you can assume that the guest is not attending. You may want to call and double check


20544612 - wedding invitation with space for text

Wedding gifts

  • When requesting cash for a wedding gift write “Presentation wedding” at the bottom of the invitation
  • You can also add a poem to the invitation or on your website:

If your thoughts were on a gift

Your presence will suffice

But if you really feel the need

“A little cash” *

Would be nice.

The choice is really up to you

And we would like to say

We hope you come and enjoy yourselves

And have a lovely day!


If to send a gift is your intention

In modesty we’d like to mention

Our life together has already begun

And we have almost everything under the sun

So we both thought we’d make a suggestion

To save you from all the searching and guessing

Instead of spending lots and lots

Just put some money in our honeymoon box

But most importantly we request

That you show up as our wedding guest

  • Family gossip chain will also get the word out
  • If marriage is called off, return all wedding gifts

53715671 - gift box with banknote of dollar.

Second Marriages

  • It is acceptable to wear white
  • It is not acceptable to wear a veil, have a long train or carry orange blossoms
  • Second time around, parents should not be obliged to pay
  • If you get along with your ex, it is okay to invite him or her…especially nice for the kids.


Seating Plan

  • Seat battling relatives at different tables
  • Seat people in the same age groups together
  • no more etiquette at head table; anything goes. Traditional, sweetheart table or kings table.
  • Good idea to put reserved cards for family in an open seating situation (parents’ table)

Calgary Vintage Wedding Planner

Stay tuned for more etiquette advice in the weeks to follow.

Bride and groom photo…Northridge Photography

Head table photo...Allison Seto